Posts Tagged ‘redneck’

Mess Destruction

October 31, 2013

Mess Destruction

As I am posting this it is Halloween night and I was thinking about how different things were when I was a kid.  Back then it was all about the candy.  We didn’t care diddly squat about costumes and pranks and all that stuff.  We wanted free candy because we didn’t get candy whenever we wanted it.  Candy was a rare treat.  Our parents didn’t keep us from eating candy for health reasons either…candy cost money, money we didn’t usually have.

We didn’t have a large selection of toys either.  Mostly we had two choices when it came to playing, either the front yard or back yard.  If it was raining we played on the porch.  If we got to play inside it was because there was a blizzard or something and that is very rare in Mississippi.  I can remember on Halloween that I ate candy I didn’t even like…simply because it was candy and that was a rare thing.

Now if you will excuse me I have to make another round in the neighborhood.  I am going as the comic strip character Bo Lumpkin.  I heard the neighbor down the street was giving away  full sized Hershey bars and I have to get there before they run out.

Edna and Mildred Shutdown

October 17, 2013

Government Shutdown

I knew that things were gettin’ bad but when Mildred and Edna are both speechless on the same day  it is kind of scary.  (It at least made for an easy comic for me.)

Burt and Kurt – Picture Perfect

October 4, 2013

Kurt and Burt-Picture It

Almost everyone has some type of camera with them these days.  Phone, Ipad or digital camera.  If you say you saw a U.F.O or Sasquatch you had better have a picture.  If you see Elvis at a burger joint in some out of the way town in Idaho be sure you take a picture with him because if you don’t, I promise you no one will believe you.

Creatures of Habit- Dangerous Times

October 1, 2013

Dangerous Times

I can understand the chickens being a little upset with the cows.  There is no excuse for that kind of bad spelling.

On the subject of Chicken, it seems that everyone is on the nugget or filet bandwagon.  Everyone is touting their all white meat chicken parts without bones as if that were a good thing.  I like chicken the way we used to cut them up.  I like the leg and thigh best but I was also fond of the backs.  When I was younger and times were hard I even enjoyed the neck from time to time.  You never see a chicken with a wishbone  (we called them the pulley bone).  Backs are now part of the breast or thigh.

I hate to attack a fellow southerner but it was all Col. Sanders fault.  He invented the art of cutting up a chicken into pieces that no one could recognize.  There have been times I wasn’t even sure it was chicken at all (but it was still finger lickin’ good). I like my dark meat chicken and I want the bone left in it.

You can have your white meat and ‘Eat Mor Chickin” if you want to, but as for me… Beef, it’s what’s for dinner.

Geezers Gone Bad- Continuing Education

September 30, 2013

Useful Skills

Sometimes I think our prison system is geared to fail.  For one thing they are now called correctional institutions.  I liked it better when they were Penal Institutions.  I am not a hard case…well maybe I am but I still think prison should be for punishment for crimes committed.  Punishment is the most successful form of correction.  One of my all time favorite movies was “Cool Hand Luke” starring Paul Newman.  If you have never seen the movie you might not understand some of this blog.  At the time I was a young boy and like everyone else I was rooting for the convicts.  Now as I look back I think the man with the reflecting sunglasses had it right.

Our judicial system is out of whack.  Our policemen are overworked and underpaid and they are blamed for crime rates when our judicial system just keeps sending hardened criminals back out on the streets with new skills that they learned in prison.

I do my best to obey all laws.  I buckle my seatbelt.  I drive the speed limit…or a little less sometimes, and I don’t tailgate.  I obey the laws because I not only respect the law,  I respect my fellow citizen.  My rights end where the next person’s begin.  My responsibility also ends where the next person’s should begin.

Music Man – Hank The Handy Man

September 27, 2013

Music Man

I would like to see that.  I bet it had to have a big strap on it.

I have a great connection on the  internet this morning and I am loading these comics to post for the next week.  In other words if you are reading this now I probably posted it last week.  I have written and posted devotionals for my church this morning at http://shilohbaptist.blogspot.com for the week.  I have uploaded these comics for this week making me several days ahead of my normal schedule. (Bet you didn’t think I had one.)  Now alas, my buffer is empty as of this writing but I have a week an a half to refill it.  I do have enough comics to start off with next week but the cupboard is lookin’ mighty bare.  I have lots of ideas, I just need a little comic time to get them ready.

Have a great weekend.  I know that I am going to give it my best shot.

Free Range – Burt and Kurt

September 24, 2013

K & B Free Range

Personally I would love to have some chickens in my yard but I haven’t had a lot of luck with them.  I see people with chickens running loose on their property and I find it hard to believe that they survive.  Maybe my problem was trying to raise the smaller chickens, bantams, or as most folks around here call them Banties.  I took good care of my chickens.  I let them out in the daytime and I put them up at night in what I thought was a safe chicken coop.  The raccoons and possums proved me wrong on that.

When I was down to about  8 chickens hurricane Katrina hit and all I had left was one rooster named Rambo and three hens.  Katrina had more or less wrecked their roost and  they refused to go into the chicken shack that I prepared for them.  They began to roost in the trees, much to the delight of the owls and hawks.  Rambo was a survivor but after the hens were gone he was pretty lonesome.  He would attack the stray cat that hung around Gatorhead.  We named the cat Big Boy.  Big Boy was lonesome too but he didn’t crave the attention of a crazy rooster.  My little weiner dog was afraid to go outside because Rambo would peck him in the behind every time he did.  The last straw was when we had company Rambo saw his reflection in their car and attacked a Toyota Camry.  I guess Rambo won because he didn’t have any damage and the Toyota did.

I gave Rambo to a friend who raised chickens who kept him several months.  He told me that a dog got into the chicken pen and killed a bunch of his chickens and Rambo was one of them.  I am almost certain Rambo put up a good fight.  The friend assured me that there were a lot of young chickens around who looked like Rambo.  I hope they have his survival skills.

Bo

Geezerhood- Homer and Estelle A Hairy Conversation

September 23, 2013

Hair Today Gone

When I was a kid we went every week and got a haircut.  I was nearly bald until I graduated from high school.  After graduation from high school I joined the National Guard and had to get a haircut at least once a month before drills then.    Now I am an old Geezer and I still get a haircut once a month because someone who is nearly bald looks really bad when they don’t trim the rest of their hair.  Mine grows okay on the back and sides but none on top.

I don’t need to wonder when to get mine cut.  My wife does not mind telling me, “You need a haircut.”

My first haircuts were done by a neighbor across the road who had a pair of manual clippers (and I doubt very seriously if he had a Barber License) and cost a quarter.  They were slow and painful because the clippers pinched out about as much hair as they cut.  I remember the gradual rise in prices.  When we started getting a haircut in town the barber charged kids 75 cents and adults $1.25.

Now I pay $14 dollars to get my haircut and in comparison to prices and wages everywhere else I consider that reasonable…even with the tip.   Yes I tip the barber…he has control of my appearance for a little while.

Lots of other things have changed over the years.  I don’t get bubble gum anymore when I get a haircut but that is okay because I couldn’t chew it with my dentures anyway.  You don’t see a shoe shine stand in the Barber Shop anymore because people don’t need their Nike’s shined.  One of the biggest changes is that there are women in there.  My wife and I both get our hair cut at the same shop. There is a woman there who cut hair for both of us last week.  When I was a kid if a woman walked in , even to bring her kids for a haircut, the entire place went silent until she left.

Times change and I guess we do too.

Bo

Ain’t That Weird?

September 20, 2013

Bad Case

I reckon Buster might be right.  We all might seem a little weird to some people but Hank has a point too.  Some folks take it to the extreme.  Yall have a nice weekend.

Self Improvement- Hank the Handy Man

September 6, 2013

Self Improvement

Sometimes people will tell you your problem but they never give you the solution.  Hang in there Buster you are workin’ on becoming ept.