Doctor’s Visits

Hi y’all I’m Bo Lumpkin and I’ve been thinkin’.

Doctor’s offices are dangerous places. Usually they are located where you have to go through the worst traffic in town to get there. After you get there you have to sit in the waitin’ room with a bunch of sick folks who might have every contagious disease there from the epizuedics to the gollicrods. You might be sittin’ in a chair where somebody with a flesh eatin’ fungus that ain’t been identified yet has been sittin.

They make you fill out a bunch of forms so that your bloodpressure is always high from takin’ the test. They want the medical history of your whole family all the way back to their immigration and then when you get back to the examinin’ room they ask all the same questions again to make sure you ain’t lyin’ to them or tryin’ to hide somethin’ I reckon. They then ask you for a list of all the medicines you are takin’. They then weigh you. Weighing all the patients don’t make no sense to me. I have always weighed the same when I left as I did when I went in.

You are usually asked to remove some article of clothing that you would rather keep on and then they ask what is wrong with you. I usually say somethin’ like “Nothin, I’m just here to try to sell y’all some magazines because you sure don’t have anything decent to read in your waitin’ room.” It’s about this time that it gets dangerous because then you can hear the nurse out in the hall tellin’ the doctor you are here for a prostate exam. That really scares you if the doctor is an ear, nose and throat specialist.

I’m Bo Lumpkin and I’ve been thinkin’. I goin’ to cut back on goin’ to the doctor and see if my health might just improve on its own. Whatchall been thinkin? Leave me a comment or send me an email to  or

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2 Responses to “Doctor’s Visits”

  1. SpilledInkGuy Says:

    I hear you, Bo! Just passing by a doctor’s office is enough to make me break out in a cold sweat. Maybe I should have that checked out, but I think I’m just gonna’ skip it! 🙂

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